IT’S KIND OF, AH, FOR ADULTS ONLY

034. The Incredible Mr. Limpet (1964)

In order to understand great cinema you really should take a moment – or an hour and a half – to understand horrible cinema.  Enter The Incredible Mr Limpet.

I’m a huge fan of the technique of overlaying traditional animation on live-action.  My favorite film of all time is Who Framed Roger Rabbit, so on that note I decided to give this awkward little movie a chance.  The verdict?  This is quite possibly the worst movie I have ever seen.  And I saw Orca.

After seeing this film once I decided I needed someone to empathize on how ridiculous it is, so I had my roommate watch it.  Her reaction was, quote, “Why did this need to exist?!” minus a few interrobangs.  Quite frankly that sums things up.

The Incredible Mr Limpet left me confused.  Not about the plot or anything involving the film, mind you, because all that was too ridiculous to even worry over.  I was confused how this film was pitched, green-lit and produced without anyone saying, “Are you effing KIDDING me?” or even, “Are you sure this is a good idea?”

This movie is about a guy who turns into a fish and in doing so finally finds a way of helping his country by hunting Nazis.  Seriously.  There’s more, but that’s all you need to know.  I’ll not say anything further in case you ever watch Mr Limpet as to not ruin the little surprises along the way, but rest assured, there is more.

I have to give it a couple points for technical achievement, but otherwise…wow.  No.  Just no.

2/10

YOU REVENGEFUL SONOFABITCH!

002. Orca (1977)

Is ‘revengeful’ even a word?  ‘Avenging,’ maybe?

I cannot express how bad this movie is.  It’s hilarious in its supreme horribleness and I only hope that when they were making this poor excuse for a Jaws ripoff they chose the Orca not because it lives in the pretty coral reefs that exist off the icy fishing coast of Labrador (because, well, it doesn’t and they don’t) but because it was the name of Quint’s flippin’ boat.

I’m just going to throw a few words out at you: whale fetus, sexy professor, boat propeller, token Native American…and it doesn’t even take place in America.  (I think.)  This is the kind of movie you watch for the sole purpose of ragging on it.

2/10

only because it gave me a good laugh.